no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize