She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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