umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize