Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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