home. puking in laundry basket.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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