matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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