you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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