he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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