I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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