I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize