I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize