remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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