I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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