His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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