I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize