If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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