he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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