I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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