can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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