I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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