Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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