In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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