My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My breasts were aching with rage.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize