I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize