My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
NoShamevember. You game?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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