it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize