i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We named our party play list daddy issues
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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