oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize