last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize