She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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