Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
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Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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