Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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