never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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