Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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