You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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