Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize