they need to just BURY HIM!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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