Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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