my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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