How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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