No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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