so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize