Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize