I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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