party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize