I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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