I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize