i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize