May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize