she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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